He Reigns.

Within the last 2 days, there has been an intense spiritual battle in my life.  After a rough start, yesterday I told my testimony in hindi.  With help, of course, but it was incredible to know that I speak enough hindi to (poorly) communicate what God has done in my life.  Satan became very aware and chose this time to attack.

Today Satan almost won the battle over me, bringing me to a state of total desperation, hopelessness, and the removal of love for myself.  After five hours of despairing, which seemed like an eternity, I gave it to God.  Hope abounds.  I washed my face of my tears but felt as though I’d just stepped out of the baptismal waters again.

The Lord is good.

He doesn’t expect us to be perfect, but just asks that we come to him with all of our crap and lay it at His feet.  Over the past 2 months of preparing to come and being in India, I have been laying things at His feet, piece by piece.  But today was the first time in a very long time that I was able and ready and willing to give Him ALL of it.  Tears are streaming down my face as I write this. 

My dad sent me an email earlier saying “God doesn’t do anything the easy way—at least from our perspective” and that the lessons He has for us require endurance and total reliance on God.  My dad’s right, as he usually is.  I reached rock bottom today, and it’s lower than the spot I thought was rock bottom previously.  It was the worst feeling I the world—to hate yourself.  But God pulled me up, and not just to the bed I’d collapsed by, but all the way to the throne, where He resides and rules.

I have had two visions before.  They were both this time last year—almost to the day.  The first was a face.  A black face.  With. ...  nothingness … for eyes.  It was either nothingness or this pinkish red color for the mouth, I don’t remember.  I was petrified when I saw it, and a fear unlike any other gripped me.  I knew right away it was a demon, and I closed my eyes and prayed desperately that it would go away.  That face had covered the face of a friend who is Hindu.

The second vision occurred a few moments later.  With my eyes closed and heart racing from fear, I saw a lion cub.  It was playing with another, carefree, and tumbling about in the dirt.  The image zoomed out and I could gradually see the whole pride of lions, and an unspeakably beautiful sunrise.  As the sun came over the horizon, I saw a male lion, majestic and strong, climb up on a big rock and roar in the most powerful manner.  I knew by that roar that it was a representation of God/Christ and that He REIGNS.  My fears disappeared instantly, and I cannot describe the peace and comfort and knowledge in Him that I had.

In Bangalore, I went to an ISKCON temple (one of the most famous Hindu temples).  The whole experience was intensely spiritual, God showing me a piece of the devil’s workmanship, and the power that evil has over people.  On my way out, I glanced around at the souvenir kiosks, just to see what they had.  I saw the face I had seen last summer depicted on one of the souvenirs.  It was not a similar face or one of the abstract faces, but THE face I had seen.  I get goosebumps even thinking about it, as I recall the intense feelings of both fear and evil.

Thankfully, today--now, I have the same feeling as I did when I saw the lion.  The Lord REIGNS.  My hopelessness has disappeared, and the peace that transcends all fears, worries, and doubts—it reigns.

Praise be to God.

Thank you for your prayers.  I know many have especially been coming to the Lord this week on my behalf.  All I can say is THANK YOU. 

From the bottom of my heart, thank you.  Now, please thank and praise the Lord with me.