There are 2 general responses to me wanting to live overseas after I mention my dream of moving my life to India. Both come with the same series of questions regarding "why," "when," etc. but those I'll answer another day.
The first response: "That's so cool." "I'm excited for you," or "Wow, I could never do that." "If you're over there, I really want to come visit!"
To them, I'd like to say: YEAH, I'm excited and can't wait. But, I must wait a little longer until I get the "go" to go. Yes, it will be hard at times, but I LOVE it there. For the first time in 10+ years, I feel like I have a home somewhere. And, those thoughts aren't coming from being blinded by my love for it--I have seen the beautiful and the ugly pieces of life there, and I have done quite a bit of reading on foreign women living in India to know some of the highs/lows that will come after being there for awhile. Secondly, yes, you COULD do it 1-if you had to, 2-if you chose to, and/or 3-if God gives you a heart for it and tells you to.
And, finally, there will be some days, although it's hard for me to fathom, when I will miss America, the family holidays, the fattening foods, not attracting an abnormal amount of attention when visiting landmarks, having a set price unrelated to skin color, etc. And during those times, if you tell me now that you want to come visit, I'm going to hold you to that. And I will take each one of my guests to the Taj Mahal, because I could visit it once a month and still be quite in awe of its beauty :)
The second response always causes the need for a polite smile, a deep breath, and plenty of polite nodding and tongue/passion-holding on my part: "Are you sure God wants you to go to India, and it's not just what you want?" "Go visit other countries before you decide you're really going to India." "It's harder than you think, living in a different culture." "I think if you give good ol' American boys a chance, you'll change your mind and decide to stay here and raise a family." "Well, you don't want to go SINGLE, do you?" "What about your parents?!?"
My words to these people: I have chosen a different life from you. Or, perhaps I should say, God has chosen a different life for me than the one He chose for you.
I am in no way saying that being raised on a farm, marrying someone from the same town or next town over, having babies, baking pies and casseroles, and keeping your family within a 2 hour radius around you is bad or was the wrong decision for you to make. I'm sure you chose correctly, that it was what God had planned for you, and that it can be a truly wonderful life. For you and many others.
But, I must say, it's not terribly appealing (and almost frightening) to me.
It's just not for me. That said, I did used to want to be the typical suburban-mom, with lots of adopted, multicolored kiddos running around. I wanted to be an OT making a decent amount of money; have a sizable house that would be the hubbub for international students and families; raise my kids on sushi, cous cous, curry, hummus, and kimchi; do short-term missions and use my OT skills that way.
Now, I just plan to do that in a place where I won't make very much money, where I will likely never eat a cheeseburger or find any "cream of ____ soup" when I'm grocery shopping, where my kids' first words will likely be not in English, and where my short-term trips will involve going to America. And I'm perfectly ok with that. Heck, I'm excited for it.
You are right in that I DON'T know that India is where I will be forever. After a few months or years there, God could choose to move me elsewhere: Islamabad, Kabul, Kathmandu, Bangkok, Dubai, Seoul, Hong Kong, some village in Africa that is pronounced with a clicking sound--heck, even New York! And that's okay. It doesn't mean I can't see myself living in India and then retiring there with my fellow grey-turned-henna-red-haired aunties.
As of right now, I believe I am supposed to go to India, and afterwards, who knows?
Secondly, I am confused by you. You have supported missionaries for so many years. How do you do that and then question my aspirations to go? This isn't a rhetorical question--I genuinely do not understand. If it's because I'm not married: I think Mother Teresa was able to make quite an impact, and she didn't have a husband. If it's because I'm young, rather than think of the areas I need to improve, grow, and learn in, think of the advantages I have because I am young and willing to learn and adapt to the culture that is so unlike my own. If it's some other reason, please just trust God and that He knows what is best.
And then, please read the "Perspectives" book. Likely, you will not understand or agree with everything in the book, but I believe it will give you a different outlook on what me and many of my friends are intending to do.
Okay, end of soapbox :)
The first response: "That's so cool." "I'm excited for you," or "Wow, I could never do that." "If you're over there, I really want to come visit!"
To them, I'd like to say: YEAH, I'm excited and can't wait. But, I must wait a little longer until I get the "go" to go. Yes, it will be hard at times, but I LOVE it there. For the first time in 10+ years, I feel like I have a home somewhere. And, those thoughts aren't coming from being blinded by my love for it--I have seen the beautiful and the ugly pieces of life there, and I have done quite a bit of reading on foreign women living in India to know some of the highs/lows that will come after being there for awhile. Secondly, yes, you COULD do it 1-if you had to, 2-if you chose to, and/or 3-if God gives you a heart for it and tells you to.
And, finally, there will be some days, although it's hard for me to fathom, when I will miss America, the family holidays, the fattening foods, not attracting an abnormal amount of attention when visiting landmarks, having a set price unrelated to skin color, etc. And during those times, if you tell me now that you want to come visit, I'm going to hold you to that. And I will take each one of my guests to the Taj Mahal, because I could visit it once a month and still be quite in awe of its beauty :)
The second response always causes the need for a polite smile, a deep breath, and plenty of polite nodding and tongue/passion-holding on my part: "Are you sure God wants you to go to India, and it's not just what you want?" "Go visit other countries before you decide you're really going to India." "It's harder than you think, living in a different culture." "I think if you give good ol' American boys a chance, you'll change your mind and decide to stay here and raise a family." "Well, you don't want to go SINGLE, do you?" "What about your parents?!?"
My words to these people: I have chosen a different life from you. Or, perhaps I should say, God has chosen a different life for me than the one He chose for you.
I am in no way saying that being raised on a farm, marrying someone from the same town or next town over, having babies, baking pies and casseroles, and keeping your family within a 2 hour radius around you is bad or was the wrong decision for you to make. I'm sure you chose correctly, that it was what God had planned for you, and that it can be a truly wonderful life. For you and many others.
But, I must say, it's not terribly appealing (and almost frightening) to me.
It's just not for me. That said, I did used to want to be the typical suburban-mom, with lots of adopted, multicolored kiddos running around. I wanted to be an OT making a decent amount of money; have a sizable house that would be the hubbub for international students and families; raise my kids on sushi, cous cous, curry, hummus, and kimchi; do short-term missions and use my OT skills that way.
Now, I just plan to do that in a place where I won't make very much money, where I will likely never eat a cheeseburger or find any "cream of ____ soup" when I'm grocery shopping, where my kids' first words will likely be not in English, and where my short-term trips will involve going to America. And I'm perfectly ok with that. Heck, I'm excited for it.
You are right in that I DON'T know that India is where I will be forever. After a few months or years there, God could choose to move me elsewhere: Islamabad, Kabul, Kathmandu, Bangkok, Dubai, Seoul, Hong Kong, some village in Africa that is pronounced with a clicking sound--heck, even New York! And that's okay. It doesn't mean I can't see myself living in India and then retiring there with my fellow grey-turned-henna-red-haired aunties.
As of right now, I believe I am supposed to go to India, and afterwards, who knows?
Secondly, I am confused by you. You have supported missionaries for so many years. How do you do that and then question my aspirations to go? This isn't a rhetorical question--I genuinely do not understand. If it's because I'm not married: I think Mother Teresa was able to make quite an impact, and she didn't have a husband. If it's because I'm young, rather than think of the areas I need to improve, grow, and learn in, think of the advantages I have because I am young and willing to learn and adapt to the culture that is so unlike my own. If it's some other reason, please just trust God and that He knows what is best.
And then, please read the "Perspectives" book. Likely, you will not understand or agree with everything in the book, but I believe it will give you a different outlook on what me and many of my friends are intending to do.
Okay, end of soapbox :)
