Today's Treasure.

Well, I'm back!  I may have hung out the train waving to the Ongolian kids as soon as the train pulled into town, and I may have sprinted up the stairs to see my baby girls who were home from preschool.  I may have given a thousand kisses and hugs as each child got home from school, telling each one how much I missed them and love them.  I am happy to be back. 

I may have also come home to finding my refrigerator unplugged and consequently very moldy, with the devastating loss of my Christmas pepperoni. (Don't judge until you live somewhere without mega grocery stores!) I may have only 2 ayahs for all 20 of my children, which is just a disaster waiting to happen. I may be wearing a shirt covered in snot from my 4 year old.  I may have blackened feet from walking across the street without my flip flops because I just might be a little too Indian for my own good.  I may already be feeling super sexy from my preschooler doing my hair this morning, and the knowledge of the inevitable:  that lice will most definitely be in my hair by tonight.  I may have painfully woken up at 5 am to discover my children decided to start waking up before the sun while I was gone, and I may have successfully yelled from the street to one daughter on the fourth story balcony who was taking her sweet time getting to the car this morning. 

And all of that just may not matter.  Even though part of me wants to hang my head and ask WHYYYY I love this life; why I chose to leave that beautiful, serene island; why in the world do my children think the morning starts when the moon is out; and why and how in the world can I call this home....none of it can compare to those hugs and kisses I have gotten nonstop.  None of it can compare to the prayers I got to share with the older girls last night. None of it can compare to my baby crying when I walked away from her to take a nap because she just wanted to didn't want to be away from me.  None of it can compare to the love I have for my daughters, none of it can compare with Phoebe wanting to hear every detail of my trip to "China" (Thailand, Chennai, China, same to same!) and then telling me that I can never leave again, "ever."  And unfortunately, none of it can compare to the devastation I saw in Honor's eyes when I sat them all down and told them that I will be staying in America when I go back in June.  They really love me. I mean, I knew they depended on me, but they really love me. My daughters really love me, and I am so happy to know it. It breaks my heart, too, since I know there is an end to this time, but I am thankful for their love. I love them, and that is what makes this all worth it. Mold, snot, lice, cold bucket showers, no electricity, whatever. Bring it on. Because these next five months are something I'm going to treasure.

But What is Better

My previous post was about what is good.
To add to that,  I'll say my time in Thsiland is coming to a close, but thst it has been good.  Iam rested, relaxed, excited, and rejuvenated so that I am looking so foward to spending time with my girls. It has been good, and it is good what will come.
What is better is that God has rocked my entire world and just keeps shaking what I thought was my life plan. In the matter of a month I have gone from fundraising-planning for my assumed 2 year return to Ongole (to continue fostering my girls) to watching God orchestrate a beautiful relationship in the most amazing of ways, with this guy I'm kinda crazy about.
So, over the next 5 months of my being in India, I will be making the most of my time at SCH while simultaneuously preparing to leave my baby girl and other 19 daughters at the end of June. I cannot do that without God, and my prayer is that I will have the strength to give everything while I am here, yet the strength to leave and follow God joyfully when the time comes.
Over the next five months I will be growing as much in the Lord as possible, seeking to know Him more, seeking to know what ministry it is that He has for me back in Springfield, as well as what OT career I am supposed to journey towards.
Over the next five months I will be learning everything I possibly can about the one who is easily the most amazing guy I have ever met. I will be praying for patience as we date via Skype, which isn't the most fun thing in the world although we both understand why God has that as part of the plan. I will be exuberant when I get to see him in New Delhi, his hometown. I will glow as I introduce him to my daughters, and I will count down the days until I get to see him again at the Springfield airport, when we'll finally be living not only on the same continent but in the same town!
But above all, these next five months we will be praying, and I would like to ask that you pray with us:
-Pray that God will be the focus of everything we are, everything we do, together and individually.
-Pray that we will receive wisdom as we take further steps: in our relationship, in international or local ministry, in orphan care, in intentional friendships.
-Pray that we will be patient and purposeful and as we live our lives while preparing to return to India someday. (And pray that I will praise God through the highly uncomfortable period of adjusting to American life again.)
-Pray that all 20 of my daughters will have loving and hopefully long term foster mothers when I leave or soon after, and pray that adoptions will allow for permanent homes and forever mommies--those who will truly be able to love and be present unconditionally.

In case you missed it: things are getting very real, folks, and my life has (again) been changed forever. God is good, and He has been opening my eyes to see that His blessings are truly abundant. What's truly amazing is that He has so much more to come; I am excited for all that He does next.

P.S. I will introduce the guy to you at some point, but the timing just isn't quite right yet. Soon, though, I promise :)

What is good.

So what shall i say about , my vacation so far? To be able to praise God in my native tongue is good. To be able to hear other believers sing is good even in Ongole, but to understand the language of the songs is better. To meet and talk with young men who KNOW the Lord and have a passion for him is encouraging. To worship with "my" people, to be welcomed with open arms, to be invited by people I had just met or barely knew, to have free accommodation and an eager invitation by all to return whenever I am able. To be invited to a wedding by a bride I barely got the chance to talk to, to be invited and encouraged by this same girl to come to the front of the church so the visiting pastor could pray for me. To be taught in English. It is good, it is good.

To be in Thailand, experiencing a new culture and lifestyle, to seek out faces of tourists for who is Indian, to realize that suddenly all white people look the same and I cannot tell them apart if not for their hair styles.  To walk around a city aimlessly, to wish there were a documentary on 60 year old white male tourists,  to see the detail and intricacy of artwork in the temples, to see a culture where everyone smiles. To still be a mom and window shop for crazy patterned pants that my preschoolers would look adorable in. To have hot showers, a blow dryer, and nonwater buffalo beef.  To laugh as I realize I am more Indian than I was and not be able to eat more than a few bites of my salad because it was so bland and not spicy. To be complimented by Indian men on my poise and modesty in my Indian clothes...a big difference from the itsy bitsy shorts that are so common here.  To miss my children, to wish I could bring one or two with me, just so I could see their eyes grow wide and their jaws drop at the sights. To get very impatient as I realize I must utilize crosswalks and not just stand in the middle of traffic waiting for a 2 second gap.

I miss home. . . Ongole, I mean. But this time of rest and rejuvenation is much needed, and it is good and beautiful.   It is good, it is good.

But you know what is even better? You have to wait a bit for that post :)

Healing.

I'm reading through Acts.  Slowly.  Thoughtfully.  It's good.

Yesterday, I read about Peter healing the man who was lame.  He had probably been unable to walk his entire life.  Yet at the age of forty, "his ankles became strong.  He jumped to his feet and began to walk."

I've heard the stories of Jesus and the disciples healing people all my life, and it was kind of like "oh, yeah. cool.  moving on from that Sunday school story."

Now, I have 20 daughters with disabilities.  I "get" it now.  The man could WALK.  I think of the kids who have learned to walk since I've come to Ongole--we cheer when they learn to stand up on their own.  But when they take their first step, there are tears of joy in each foster mom's eyes.  And that's after intensive therapies and orthotics and all that.  But this man--he just walked.  How awesome that must have been.  He just walked!

Which brings me to my "Meet the Family: Part 3"

Paula is my 12 year old with cerebral palsy who will be getting a wheelchair sometime soon! (It’s ordered!)  When I kiss my girls good night, she hides her face with the blanket, giggling hysterically.  When we have dance parties, she covers her face in embarrassment. She’s the one girl who I LOVE to embarrass, even though we both know it’s just a joke and that she really loves all of it.  (Yes, I have officially reached motherhood, if I can say this.)  Paula loves music and is eager to learn everything—from how to use my laptop to doing puzzles—but her cerebral palsy makes things quite a bit more challenging for her than others.   She is still able to do SO much, considering her disability and that she’s been institutionalized for so long, but I know having access to the wheelchair is going to give her a whole new perspective on the world.

I'm fairly certain I'm going to bawl my eyes out the first time I see Paula use her wheelchair to race one of her sisters to the ideal toy (the plastic cell phone)--and win.  I can't imagine the joy of being able to watch her contractures suddenly disappear, her joints face in the proper directions, and her first steps turn into jumps of glee.  But that's what the friends of this man saw happen to him.  How incredible that must have been!

Next, I"ll talk about Stephanie, who is my newest teenager at thirteen years old and is blind.  Because of her disability and probably because of her history--whatever it is--she is very cautious and doesn't explore anything past her arm's radius. For example, when her sisters attempt to tackle me when I walk in the door, she just sits on the bed, smiles, and claps her hands; even though I know she is just as eager to give me a hug and receive a kiss. Although she normally sits with her empty hands in her lap and a soft smile on her face, when Stephanie hears that I am near, she will grope the empty air until she touches my arm and quietly requests to "Sing a song, sister?"

She also loves feeling different textures, like the new slinkies, squeeze toys, and teddy bears she received as gifts.  And Stephanie did recently enjoy being able to feel and hold our former pet rabbit (may he rest in peace, lol) and some chicks I owned for a few hours before giving them away.  She would squeal with excitement and fear each time she felt the animals move, but her smile was enormous!

Although these verses in Acts talk about being able to walk which makes me think of Paula--they moreso make me think of Stephanie.  You see, even though Paula can't get around as easily as others, she interacts with her world to the best of her ability, whereas Stephanie misses out on so much due to her fears which I believe stem from her lack of sight.  Oh, to imagine Stephanie suddenly be able to see, and run to me when I walk in the door! To have the courage to stand up and walk through the room of Legos and 7 sisters!  How beautiful it must have been for the friends and families of those who were healed by Christ and his believers!

It's possible, I guess, that these girls could be recipients of such miracles while here on earth.  Either way, I am so glad to know that when Paula kneels in heaven, she will be kneeling before the King instead of before the bed as she heaves herself up.  I am glad to know she will traverse those streets of gold like everyone else.
I am excited and happily waiting for the day that Stephanie will get to look at the One. When she will run with abandonment to her Maker.  Even if there are gold and sapphire-studded Legos all over the floor. :)