An Early Christmas Wishlist

Hello dear family & friends!

One of the truly beautiful things about living in India is that November is only a few days away, and yet I still have not seen any Christmas-related items on the shelves at our local grocery store.  Amazing! :) Because of that, I would probably forget it’s nearing those two months of relentless holiday spirit back home, except that many of the volunteers will be heading home for the holidays—be it temporarily or permanently.  

I realize that thousands of individuals and organizations raise funds around holiday-time:  police and firemen, schools, Salvation Army, etc. and you can now add me to the list.  I have two main propositions, both of which I believe to be good causes, both of which involve my children.

The more fun, less “necessary” proposition is this:  a toy drive.  My girls range from as young as 3 years old to 13.  There are eight of them living in a 3 room apartment, sharing maybe ten toys total.  I know we have three dolls—one of which I believe is headless.  We have two tiny stuffed animals, and I’m just going to assume there are a few other toys somewhere because saying they only have 5 toys sounds tragic.  I recently purchased 50 or so books on a trip to the city, and I have several DVDs, but I would really like to give them an abundance of toys this Christmas.

So, would you help?  Would you have your six year old pick out a few of her toys that she almost never plays with?  Would you like to hit up a few garage sales or Goodwill’s or Dollar General’s?   My girls will love anything.  Simple puzzles and games, crafts, coloring books, dolls, easy or educational computer games, pretend kitchen items, pretty hair items, you name it.   Two of my girls are blind, and anything with sounds/audio input/vibration is an extra bonus!  But, really, we appreciate anything. 

To give you some ideas, I created a Wal-Mart Baby Registry.  (Laugh all you want, but the “wish list” registry wasn’t accessible when I created it).  You should be able to find it under “Marla Davison,” “due date: December 25^th,” “India, MO.”  Side note:  If you look at the registry, you will also see a few items like deodorant, Lucky Charms, Reese’s cups, pancake mix, taco seasoning—don’t judge, but these are the weird things I miss from home, and it’s “my” Christmas list. :)

 

My other Christmas wish is for one of my girls, Paula.  Paula has cerebral palsy, and she is unable to walk.  She crawls everywhere she goes, which, despite her impeccable biceps, triceps, and deltoids, is still hard on her hands and knees.  She has been measured and fitted for a wheelchair, along with 28 other children here at SCH.  Her chair will cost somewhere around $1,000.  Let’s get that covered, okay? My actual goal is to get at least 3 chairs paid for, but we can start with one and then work our way up!

If you would like to donate (and I hope you do!) you can give the toys, cash, and checks to my mom.  I have people coming to India in early December and January, so the sooner you are able to get items in, the more likely they’ll get here for Christmas.  (For those of you who don’t know my mother, you can shoot me an email at amerikiladki@gmail.com).  

You can also transfer funds into my account via Paypal (amerikiladki@gmail.com) if you have a specific way you’d like me to spend the money here, or you can go the tax-beneficial way and donate at http://www.schindia.com/get-involved/donate/ .  

Thank you so much for reading this far, as well as considering to help out my kids.  

Much love from all nine of us,
Marla, Paula, Stephanie, Jeanette, Naomi, Rebekah, Jackie, Heidi, & Angel

Hyderabadi Break

I spent Tuesday and Wednesday in Hyderabad (big city), and it was a lovely break from life here in Ongole.  That said, taking the overnight bus both Monday & Wednesday has left me a bit fatigued, and I'm still easing back into normal life!

While I was there, I basically did 4 things:
1. Relaxed, rested, chatted with friends online, and watched Breaking Bad.  Normally, I'd hate that I wasn't out exploring the new city I was in, but again--"sleeping" on an overnight bus isn't the most restful experience, so resting was at the top of my agenda!

2. Loved on babies! We still don't have a building, and consequently don't have a license, for the Hyderabad home yet.  However, SCH is already caring for 4 of those 25 children we are planning on getting:  one stays at the hospital, and the others are staying with ayahs and a nurse at a guesthouse.  The 3 I got to meet are absolutely precious! Zahra had just arrived a few hours before I met her, and I was able to teach her caregivers how to use a special bottle designed for babies with cleft lip/palate. 

10 month old Riley and I quickly became buddies.  So much to the point that he'd cry when I had to leave.  (Precious, I know--and he sort of stole my heart, too!)  I brought some 3" board books for them to play with and he LOVED turning the pages and holding them. 

 

And then there was 2 year old Alicia.  She is able to sit up, but her arms are too weak to even hold the board books I brought.  She is soooo skinny, but has one of the biggest smiles--and one of the cutest protruding lips when she pouts :)  

3. Shopping!  (And a mani/pedi to make me feel somewhat feminine again).  I've learned over these 2 months that leggings don't last so long when children go pulling on them, so I had a bit of a shopping spree to buy more durable mall-quality clothes, to help out the life of my market-quality clothes.  After doing my online research, I went to what is deemed the best old school bookshop in Hyderabad. Barnes & Noble (or Crossword, if you're in India) is fine, but this is like a reader's dream:  floor to wall books, in 4 to 6 foot tall stacks, stuffed on shelves.  Make it four rooms of this, with a second story after tackling a rickety uneven staircase, and this bookshop is by far my favorite one I've been to in India.  I now have a Telugu/English/Hindi children's library in my awesome penthouse.  Thank you to all of you who have given me money to buy things for the kids--they LOVE their books, and I'm hoping having more fun ones on hand will peak their interest in reading and academics. 

4.  Meeting Liban!  I got to spend a couple hours with this guy, and even though he was jetlagged and I was extremely exhausted from having not slept much the previous night, it was still pretty cool. I'm sure we probably looked like zombies to everyone else around us, but whatever.  Since I had planned my trip around when he'd be in Hyd, it actually worked out pretty well, as I got to escape the major flooding that happened in Ongole the two days I was gone.  Considering reaching my penthouse requires a walk across the uncovered roof, and that getting to our neighborhood involves dirt roads, I was very glad I missed it!

I'm back at home in Ongole now, and have kind of been easing into OT life--doing more computer work and relaxation to recover from the sleep I missed on those buses.  Liban brought me stuff from my mom and sister, and although most of the food is gone by now, my girls adore their stickers and sticker books.  And, Angel & Heidi look pretty darn cute in having underwear without safety pins to hold them up :)  So thanks for all those!

Now, back to organizing online files...

Blessings.

Sometimes it would be easier to Skype everyone at home all at once, as I have about 3,026 stories to sort through each time I sit down to write.  Maybe I'll do a video blog one day, where I just talk 90 mph for a good solid hour, and then let you live your lives without scrolling through letters.

I feel so blessed here.  I mean, I guess I'm so blessed in America also, but here, the blessings are just different.  Or maybe it's just that things are a wee bit harder to come by, and that working with children in general makes me notice those blessings?

One of the most difficult things about being here is not getting to watch my sister's kids grow up.  Especially as Elizabeth was born 3 days before I left America, I feel like a really crummy aunt since I won't see her again until she's probably walking.   But I'm blessed to live in the time that we do, as I got to skype the kids last weekend--and my sister, parents, and best friend.  I'm glad for technology to keep us in contact.  But I'm also glad for the letter my oldest nephew, Samuel, wrote me, saying, "Dr At Mrla, I hope dat we kango to Indea." Little pieces of home like that kind of pull on my heart, making it both easier and harder to be here.  (But good harder, so keep them coming!)

Tomorrow night, I'm traveling to Hyderabad so I can do some shopping for my girls and myself. Then Tuesday, I get to see my friend Liban, who was once my Hindi tutor, and is a Delhiite living in Springfield, visiting Hyd on business.  (Re-read that last sentence, and you'll know it's a God-thing that we even know each other!)  He's the first person "from home" that I'll get to see while I'm here, and there's just something comforting in that alone.  But the blessings continue, and I'm so grateful for his willingness to bring items from my parents & sister, as well as his own family.

Blessings also come in the form of ayahs. My ayahs are beautiful, motherly ladies who really love my girls.  They have been supportive through the potty-training process, and they safety pin the size 6 underwear on my 3 year old's waist, even though we all know she may just wet them again in an hour.   Other apartments here have had a difficult time keeping their ayahs or having them do things in the way that they are asked (i.e. keeping the apartment and children clean, feeding correctly, disciplining appropriately, etc.), but my ayahs have been phenomenal through the whole process.  They sweep up the rice after every meal (making sure it doesn't stick to our feet for the rest of the day), they respond quickly when a kid poops in the stairwell, utilize time-outs, etc.  I am blessed to have them, and my girls are blessed to have them.

I'm blessed with the volunteer community here--both the long term and the short term.  From Nikki, who is willing and gracious to let me interrupt her night because I have a lot building inside, to Jenny, who let me keep all my stuff organized in her room at Grace during potty training week and gives ideas for working with the schoolgirls.  The women here are full of encouragement, ideas, connections with other people who have ideas, etc..  I am so thankful to be surrounded by them for the "venting" times, the "I have a fantastic story and you must sit on the cot until I finish" times, to the encouragement times when we both need to hear a "we're in this together."

My girls are blessings to me (obviously).  I so wish everyone could see how beautiful these girls are, how happy they can make those around them.  I lived with them for a week so we could work on potty training and behaviors on an almost 24-7 basis, and it helped me bond with some that I hadn't really connected with before.  Another blessing. I now know that independent Paula actually is affectionate and cuddly--she just takes time.  Shy, introverted Stephanie will now "yell" (her yelling voice is as loud as my hushed tones) at me to "Sing a song, sister!" Naomi will pull out her slightly frazzled pigtails for French braids the second I have a comb in my hand.  Jeanette loves to imitate even though she is blind.  She follows my fingers braiding her sisters' hair and then spends hours knotting my hair together in her best attempts to copy. Rebekah loves to do the actions to "Every Move I Make," 3-year-old Angel likes trying to fold clothes and sweep, and Heidi is a little mama who will pretend you're in trouble and shake that finger at you like nobody's business.  And Jackie will wedge her way onto my lap as soon as it is available, even if I'm in the process of standing up. 

But these girls are blessings to more than just me.  I really saw this the other day when Paula and I were headed towards the roof for our Mummy-Daughter date night.  I had stowed away some ice cream on the third floor, retrieved it, and then asked her to come up to the roof with me.
Paula has cerebral palsy, with pretty bad knee contractures--so she crawls around everywhere.  She didn't want to go to the roof, and I thought maybe it was because she didn't want to tackle another flight of stairs, so we just plopped down in the stairwell and ate it there.  She kept motioning downstairs, and I figured out (via questioning and hand gestures, as there's a language barrier) that she didn't want the ice cream for herself.  By asking another series of questions, I learned that Paula wanted all of the girls in her friends' apartment to have the ice cream, as well as her own 7 sisters in her apartment.   When I said this, to make sure I understood correctly, she leaped up and quickly slid down the stairs, yelling at the girls that she was bringing her ice cream to share!  In both apartments, she would stand on her knees, shriek with happiness, and clap as each girl got their 2 bites of vanilla soup.  There were 17 girls total, besides Paula and myself.  She made sure none of them were forgotten, and that the aunties got some, too.  It was beautiful to see how mature and caring this girl is.  I don't know how she learned a lesson like this, but she is a thousand times more selfless than me.  Wherever life takes her, I know she is going to be a blessing to all those around her. 

Which brings me to a frustration point:  I just don't get how such precious children were not wanted.  I don't understand how there are not lines of people trying to adopt them.  "WHERE ARE YOU??" I want to scream sometimes at both locals and internationals.  But that brings me to another blessing I learned about this week:  the Indian gov't apparently changed the adoption rules recently.

Before, as a Westerner, you had to be 30 before you could even apply for an Indian child--single or married.  But, if you were married, you had to be married for at least 5 years.  Now, I guess foreign couples are eligible to adopt from India at the age of 25, without a length of marriage requirement.  So, dear married friends back home who have told me you desire to adopt someday, you should start preparing and saving that cash, because I probably have a child in mind for you.  And, if I ever marry, it will be a double blessing as I'll get to file that paperwork 5 years sooner than I expected. (Woohoo!)

My mind is in about 30 places right now, so I apologize if this wasn't written utterly coherently.  Without rereading, I'm guessing I have just shamed my high school English teachers.  But, I'm going to mention two more blessings and then get back to work:
1.  This delicious, fudgy brownie I am eating as I type.  2.  Mexican food.  I woke up this morning and realized I haven't eaten a taco in almost FOUR MONTHS.  Never before have I craved tacos at 7 a.m., but I have located multiple Mexicano restaurants in Hyderabad and have big mariachi-style plans for Tuesday or Wednesday :)

The Superglue Effect

Because you're all dying to know, I'll come out and say it: I am a potty training master!  (Okay, not really, and it's only been one day of potty training with 2 year old Chelsea, but she is doing really awesome, and her mama and I are superbly proud.)  Of course, it helped that, being naked, she would ask for her diaper when she needed to go, but considering that the only Telugu words that I used today were "go," "sit," and "stand," it was a huge success!  Unfortunately, no matter how much water I poured into this child's mouth (that is not a torture technique, it is an Indian thing, so your lips don't dirty the glass, making you have to wash it), she could hold it and did not have to go.  Her bladder must be enormous, because her little stomach stuck out more than the swollen babies of starving kids in Africa.  Okay, well, maybe to give a more positive image, I should say she looked like the Indian uncles with their big perfectly round stomachs on top of skinny, skinny legs :)

New kids on the block.  Yesterday we finished moving all of the children to their family-style apartments, so NO MORE ORPHANAGE STYLE HOUSING!!  Already, these kids are just going to be so much better off, but of course we hope to continually make their lives better.  I also moved apartments, so that I stay in a room on top of Faith Home, where half the kids now live.  Let's just say, now that I'm living here, I think I'm going to have a lot more bonds with kids whose names I might eventually learn. For some in particular, I foresee a lot of OT (in the midst of a lot of cuddling) in their future!  :) 

Those 3 little words. I've heard many conversations and read a few too many blogs about how we as Westerners overuse the phrase "I love you."  It's true, we say it sometimes when we mean "Ah, that was a lifesaver!" or "I admire what you do."  But I'm noticing that I don't say it casually or just to say it back anymore.  When I was younger and Mom would put me to bed, she'd tell me she loves me, and then would start to close the door.  If I didn't say it back immediately, she'd poke her head back through the door opening until I said it.  Did I genuinely mean that then? Eh, sometimes. 

But now.  Boy, do I mean it.  Tonight I was in the Yellow apartment in Grace, teaching kids how to type on the computer while sending others to the balcony for time-out.  For probably 90 minutes, one of the "wilder" kids (whom I sometimes see as helplessly uncontrollable) sat in my lap snuggling against me.  She'd hold my drink when I needed to help teach her sister which fingers type "G" and "H," but otherwise, she'd just put her head against mine, wrapping my arms around her.  When I whispered "I love you" into her freshly made braids, I meant it with every ounce of my being. 

And she wasn't even one of "my" girls, but one who lives two floors above them.  I genuinely love each and every one of my eight girls in Grace Purple, and many others.  My bonds are stronger with some than others, my smile bigger with some, but I love them all.  I could sit with any of them in my arms for hours, as they get much-wanted affection.  If my girls ask, I can reread the Hindi nursery rhymes as many times as it takes to properly pronounce all of "Chanda mama."  I can tickle up to 6 kids at once before being dogpiled on in exhaustion and giggles.  I love them, and I want to always be there for them until I get to introduce them to their legal Forever Families. 

I ask for your prayers because I am trying to figure out how I can come to America only for a 2-3 week visit next summer, and how I can return to these girls for at least a second year, etc.  Because I don't know how I can leave:  my heart is superglued to these girls, and I am actually sad tonight just because I forgot to give them bedtime kisses before coming home.   Next summer is a long ways off, but pray that I will be able to return then, if it's God's will.  Pray for my heart--that no matter what, I will be able to love these girls unconditionally and be there in ways that they need me, for whatever time I am here.  Lastly, pray that families and governments will come together to adopt these beautiful girls so that they never have to think about someone they love moving across the globe without them.