So, in America, I'm just an average girl. I'm not saying that to get lots of reassuring comments or anything, I'm just stating a fact. I'm no supermodel...
In India, I'm still not a supermodel. But that doesn't mean I can't turn heads no matter where I go. I know this sounds egotistical, but hang with me for a minute:
Yeah, I'm white, and that isn't the most usual, even here in Delhi. Given, I think I prefer the not so upper class areas, too, so there really aren't as many foreigners where I like to be.
Yeah, I'm tall. Sometimes I just want to wear my four inch heels from home just to see how much more attention I could get ;) Anyways, even though the stares are 90% less than they were in the village, the way I deal with them is by feigning ignorance but smiling secretly to myself...and sometimes then making faces so that I can watch their reaction out of the corner of my eye.
It's quite fun, really. The orphanage director's kids told me that was an effective method for their previous babysitter :)
The other way I deal with it, especially on days when I wear a sari...like tomorrow...is by turning my internal radio on. Typically, it's to "Sexy and I know it" (or whatever the title of LMFAO's song is). Other times I just REALLY want to break out in dance to whatever the music is playing on the store's speakers. This is something I'd never do in America, but here. . . . where I already stick out. . . the temptation is big.
Anyways, there's a point to this I promise. Yesterday, my crazy awesome hindi teacher told me that the teachers at the school talk about me. I don't know what all they said, but something about there being a glow about me. Her explanations to them were that I'm a believer, and it's just Christ shining through. So it's cool that even in an indirect way, I'm an opportunity for her to witness. I've honestly never been that person to "glow" so I think India also has an effect on me. I just love it here.
I love that I can wear huge pants (patialas?) and still be in fashion. I love that I can eavesdrop when people assume I can't understand. I still can't--but I can get some verbs and prepositions at least :) I love that everyone here has brown skin. Brown/wheatish skin is really so beautiful, and I'm learning to be content with my inability to ever seem tan.
I love that the food is AWESOME. I love that I have good friends here, and that those friendships will continue to develop before I leave. I love that safety pins are just a part of life, and that it's okay if you wanna fit your clothes the way you want, and no one will judge you. I love that I'm splurging when I pay $6 for food. (It's goign to be a rude awakening going to restaurants in Europe!) I love the heat, and that I handle it more happily than the Indians I pass on the street.
I love roaming about and being shown random parts of Delhi by friends.
I don't like that I can't keep up with the amount of vocabulary or grammatical nonsense. (Since my physics class freshman year, I've not had such an opportunity to be the clueless student). It's sort of frustrating not to be naturally good at the language (although I'm still doing plenty fine) and it seems every time I learn a new thing, I forget the last thing I learned. But I know, and thankfully can recognize, that it will be good in the long run for me and whatever God has planned next.
I love that my homework is to stand in front of the mirror and move my tongue back and forth rapidly to loosen it up so that I can then say "rha."
I love that this is the first summer I'm not at home freezing in the air conditioning, wearing a blanket around the house.
I love that I get to look forward to coming back here someday. I like that I have my list of wants (and some requirements!) for my future apartment/room here. I like window shopping to see how I can decorate said place.
I love that I can't explain why I love India so much. It's truly just a God thing. All my other explanations make no sense.
Thinking futuristically:
Honestly, I know I SHOULD work in America first before coming back here (remember, this is after one more [final] year of grad school). That's the practical thing to do. But really... I don't know what God's plan or timing is, but I'm going to be ready to pack a few suitcases and hop back on a plane at any given time. I still have no idea or preference as to where I want to end up in this nation. But I guess that's good as I'll be pretty willing to go wherever.
I'll begin my first day of not being a student in 353 days (Hey, Kendra, you turn REALLY old and 26 that day lol). And I'd be okay with being back here in 400 days. . .
I don't know God's plan, but I really want to grow old here. Have a family--whether just an Indian church family or a family of little brown children. Get to know the neighbors and have chai and just love on them. Have a huge balcony and/or a rooftop to enjoy the nights and city view with friends. Use this hindi that I'm learning for work, play, and a higher purpose. Master driving through the streets. Wear saris and salwar kameez daily. Have friends that become family. And grow old while all my Indian friends dye their hair red with henna.
I just want to love on India forever...
I know that our true home isn't on this earth, but I think the home that He has planned for me while I'm on this earth is here. I love it.
In India, I'm still not a supermodel. But that doesn't mean I can't turn heads no matter where I go. I know this sounds egotistical, but hang with me for a minute:
Yeah, I'm white, and that isn't the most usual, even here in Delhi. Given, I think I prefer the not so upper class areas, too, so there really aren't as many foreigners where I like to be.
Yeah, I'm tall. Sometimes I just want to wear my four inch heels from home just to see how much more attention I could get ;) Anyways, even though the stares are 90% less than they were in the village, the way I deal with them is by feigning ignorance but smiling secretly to myself...and sometimes then making faces so that I can watch their reaction out of the corner of my eye.
It's quite fun, really. The orphanage director's kids told me that was an effective method for their previous babysitter :)
The other way I deal with it, especially on days when I wear a sari...like tomorrow...is by turning my internal radio on. Typically, it's to "Sexy and I know it" (or whatever the title of LMFAO's song is). Other times I just REALLY want to break out in dance to whatever the music is playing on the store's speakers. This is something I'd never do in America, but here. . . . where I already stick out. . . the temptation is big.
Anyways, there's a point to this I promise. Yesterday, my crazy awesome hindi teacher told me that the teachers at the school talk about me. I don't know what all they said, but something about there being a glow about me. Her explanations to them were that I'm a believer, and it's just Christ shining through. So it's cool that even in an indirect way, I'm an opportunity for her to witness. I've honestly never been that person to "glow" so I think India also has an effect on me. I just love it here.
I love that I can wear huge pants (patialas?) and still be in fashion. I love that I can eavesdrop when people assume I can't understand. I still can't--but I can get some verbs and prepositions at least :) I love that everyone here has brown skin. Brown/wheatish skin is really so beautiful, and I'm learning to be content with my inability to ever seem tan.
I love that the food is AWESOME. I love that I have good friends here, and that those friendships will continue to develop before I leave. I love that safety pins are just a part of life, and that it's okay if you wanna fit your clothes the way you want, and no one will judge you. I love that I'm splurging when I pay $6 for food. (It's goign to be a rude awakening going to restaurants in Europe!) I love the heat, and that I handle it more happily than the Indians I pass on the street.
I love roaming about and being shown random parts of Delhi by friends.
I don't like that I can't keep up with the amount of vocabulary or grammatical nonsense. (Since my physics class freshman year, I've not had such an opportunity to be the clueless student). It's sort of frustrating not to be naturally good at the language (although I'm still doing plenty fine) and it seems every time I learn a new thing, I forget the last thing I learned. But I know, and thankfully can recognize, that it will be good in the long run for me and whatever God has planned next.
I love that my homework is to stand in front of the mirror and move my tongue back and forth rapidly to loosen it up so that I can then say "rha."
I love that this is the first summer I'm not at home freezing in the air conditioning, wearing a blanket around the house.
I love that I get to look forward to coming back here someday. I like that I have my list of wants (and some requirements!) for my future apartment/room here. I like window shopping to see how I can decorate said place.
I love that I can't explain why I love India so much. It's truly just a God thing. All my other explanations make no sense.
Thinking futuristically:
Honestly, I know I SHOULD work in America first before coming back here (remember, this is after one more [final] year of grad school). That's the practical thing to do. But really... I don't know what God's plan or timing is, but I'm going to be ready to pack a few suitcases and hop back on a plane at any given time. I still have no idea or preference as to where I want to end up in this nation. But I guess that's good as I'll be pretty willing to go wherever.
I'll begin my first day of not being a student in 353 days (Hey, Kendra, you turn REALLY old and 26 that day lol). And I'd be okay with being back here in 400 days. . .
I don't know God's plan, but I really want to grow old here. Have a family--whether just an Indian church family or a family of little brown children. Get to know the neighbors and have chai and just love on them. Have a huge balcony and/or a rooftop to enjoy the nights and city view with friends. Use this hindi that I'm learning for work, play, and a higher purpose. Master driving through the streets. Wear saris and salwar kameez daily. Have friends that become family. And grow old while all my Indian friends dye their hair red with henna.
I just want to love on India forever...
I know that our true home isn't on this earth, but I think the home that He has planned for me while I'm on this earth is here. I love it.
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